देश का नेता कैसा हो?

Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare. 
       - George Bernard Shaw
A break from the monotonous college routine feels refreshing, what if it was just a week or so... I got to eat घर का खाना, play a bit of rough holi (and yet stay all dry myself) and watch TV. 
TV! with the remote just to myself... and some real good things have happened with Indian television, 1ta apoor's (haha! the lack of ks is meant to prolong her misfortune)  marathon family dramas (that's what they were called, although I disagree) have disappeared off air and thankfully my mother left the TV to me, most of the time... which brings me to some of the more serious observations - ones that have left me with inferiority complexes... 
The multitude of song and dance reality shows left me believing that the whole of the India can do either or all of the three... sing, dance and judge - and it looks like I'm the only one with one - nay two left feet, a duckling's throat and no real sense of quality to even judge someone - (even our very own Gangulida is busy telling damsels, how nimble and rhythmic their dance was!)

But the real footage on Indian Prime Time Television these days is surely reserved for our leaders - people who run the Great Indian Democratic Tamasha.

Varun Gandhi let the country know that he's just that - his father's son - a hardliner to the core. 
BJP seems to be having a prime ministerial candidate from every damn state, while Advaniji thinks he's the one who deserves it this time around [?] 
Congress's ring of gentlemen continue with their philosophy of you first, while Soniaji's sleeves seem to have tightened with all the aces that she keeps stacking them up with.
UPA's coalition members all think they should be considered for Prime Minister ship now - so everyone from Laluji to Paswanji is in with a chance.
But the real shock came from a reliable news channel's well designed and probably, statistically reliable presentation, that would have us believe that there is more than just a fair chance of our next Prime Minister being - hold your breath - Mayawatiji! Err... How do I put it? But yes, I'm more than just afraid... I'm scared to my wits end... and pray to all and sundry with the power of vote to exercise it with all their grey cells in charge! Please think twice over before pressing the blue button when you vote... PLEASE!

To bring down my blood presure levels and pass some time away on vacations, I thought up of this list of people whom I would like to see as the Prime Minister(s). Criteria? Their performance or the lack of it in their respective fields and of course - their No Politics backgrounds! 

So, देश का नेता कैसा हो? -

Aamir Khan जैसा हो
The Mr. Perfectionist, one movie a year guy seems like the right person to make an America out of India. Just think of it, people doing things the right way, just because Aamir told them to. And... his short term memory loss wouuld be a boon in the bad world of politics!

Farhan Akhtar जैसा हो
He can direct, sing better and act OK too. Surely, the PM's post shouldn't be too much off a bother... replace the laundry bill with the budget, the novel with heaps of files and...

Prannoy Roy जैसा हो
The grand old man of Indian Media has seen it all week after week after week. Time to put it all to use Roy my boy.

Abhishek Bachhan जैसा हो
An Idea can change your life, and Sirjee's one grand idea could do it in a flash. What say Baby B?

Soha Ali Khan जैसा हो
"Khatm Kardo Use!". Remember Rang de Basanti? the determined voice changed five directionless youth's life forever - just imagine what  it could do to a nation where the demographics are loaded heavily in the favour of youth.
Anil Kapoor जैसा हो
Mr. Kapoor's invaluable day long experience at the helm makes him one of the favourites... easily. Remember Nayak?

Mahendra Singh Dhoni जैसा हो
I have always felt that he's one hell of a lucky chap. He wins the toss to bat first, Sehwag or Yuvraj blast the oppostion bowling away, and then the bowlers somehow just about manage to defend a target. Come to the real world Mahe and show us wheteher you really are a leader... if not, the luck that you bring along is quite an asset in itself...

Ramalingam Raju जैसा हो
Who knows, we could have the EU and US praying for their lives at our doorsteps if he could manage to do his spin offs on a larger scale!

Ratan Tata जैसा हो
Purely for the greatnesss of the man. He said the Nano was his biggest dream... now that it seems to have been fulfilled, time to dream bigger, I guess.

APJ Abdul Kalam जैसा हो
A former president becomes a PM and sets a new precedent! And he was never from a political background - the criteria is genuinely fulfilled...

Raghu जैसा हो
I don't know this idiot's full name and thank you so much but I don't want to increase his Google popularity index by searching for it. But, he's this hairless, manner less, scary looking guy, who starts doing rounds of our TV channels and particularly MTV, when its Roadies time. So why is he here? India could do with it's own version of Adolf Hitler I thought, and he seemed like the perfect person. Plus, they have discovered his clone out of nowhere this time - that will help if the prime minister has to take a break, like Manmohanji had to do around Republic Day...

Katrina Kaif जैसा हो
Half of, or even more of our problems with other nations would be solved on the negotiation table itself! ... just one problem though - I'm not sure whether she was born India! Was she?


मेरे जैसा हो! :)
Aseem Sood - your best bet! People who read me regularly, are in for a treat - those who don't, needn't worry, their case would be duly considered. And anyways we have been seeing drastic changes- world over. Time for one, in here as well! And obviously, my favourite candidate is... me. Just look at the size of the pic!

That was my list of India's dream Prime Ministers. Do add more names to the above if you have some favorites of you own, who seem a better option than all the avove (read Me!).

Listening to: Even Better Than The Real Thing, U2, Achtung Baby

Dedicated to: Hmmmm... OK I give it to Mayawatiji. Hope that she understands that her state still needs her a lot and she gives up her prime ministerial aspirations!

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13 reflected back...:

Hey funny post, and I was laughing when you mentioned katrina kaif for the post!! ahem guys can only think of that

Hahaha! Very very funny...

By the way, This Varun Gandhi guy seems to be on a roll. And what a case of through and through denial! Woh meri awaaz nahi hai! Woh aadmi koi aur hai :O What an idiot...

And Raghu, lol, he would actually make a good prime ministed in the whole Adolf Hitler frame!

Yaar, please no Mayawati! Hey bhagwaan...

I think APJ Abdul Kalam should become our PM!

Great Post! Loved it!

P.S. Katrina Kaif was not born in India :P

Hey and what about Rakhi Sawant :P She could make a great PM too ;)

@ moi:
Actually, it hasn't been about 10 days since the women's day, and I wanted to give an equal opportunity ;)... On a serious note... just think of the 123 deal with Katrina as the PM! Bush would have come over personally to sign the deal... and done it in double quick time!

@ Satans Darling™:
Seriously, I always thought BJP had done a handsome deal having got a young Gandhi of the same bloodline in its ranks... but it seems Congress just threw them the left overs! Did his mother forget to tell him about treating all men as equal when she was busy teaching him on treating animals 'ethically'?

I am gonna write more on Raghu...

Oh Lord! seriously save us from Mayawati!!!

India's screwed up democracy rarely allows the right person to be the PM... Nehru and Manmohan Singh seem to be the only close examples... so Abdul Kalam is would stay a dream...

Rakhi Sawant... hmmm! nice one... she could solve the whole Indo Pak conflict on her own, once she begins ranting in that hoarse donkey like voice of hers!

And thank you so much for the Katrina Kaif trivia! :P

hilarious zoed.My vote Farhan akhtar .I am completely smitten.Roy boy, APJ are the next best choices..and you? hmm chalega..but you got to give me a good minsitry portfolio. what say?

Hi aseem, nice posts , jokes apart, India really needs a leader but not a politician.

Someone having will power to fight against terrorism and hang terrorists rather than keeping them safe in prison and granting'em access to life despite of being snake in the grass for our country


@ ss:
just chalega... I'll make the best politician out of the lot! anyways, thanks for considering my case at least... :P What portfolio do you think you could best manage sitting across seven seas? I'm even ready to float something completely new if you wish!

hey very funny post...i really enjoy ur posts, but think that there is a lot of time gap in ur posts...btw do u have ne idea abt wh8 'I.F.' is? Actually I encountered this term somewhere and am asking people about it.. if you want to know abt the full form, u may contact me directly..have a good day.. :)

@ amiT jaiN:
right said there... a leader with the will of steel... but governance in our country is more about the Ps.. politics... parivar... paisa. I'd be doing a post about voting with a firm resolve soon... thanks for dropping by.. keep coming back!

@ Buddy:
c'mon.. at least you shouldn't be complaining about the time gap... you know we were away for holidays... and then you best know what a busy person i am! :O
and dare you spill the beans on 'I. F.' before it's actually out! got it?

I will wind up everything here if I am given the most lucrative ministry portfolio :)Again, I really liked this post. Creative

@ ss: I guess I'll better have a special envoy to the Obama administration to extractt the best for Hindustan... gotta think practical if I have to be the best of the lot! ;) what say?

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